Breathing Out

I've lost count of how many sesshins I have sat now; the last number I had in my head was somewhere in the thirties, and while I could probably still go back and count them up over the years, I don't know if I will. I do remember thinking that I had probably sat in sesshin for at least six months, which makes it seem a lot. Anyway, my reaction to this one was mostly on the lines of 'oh, it's only three days', whereas for most of the participants, who are relatively or completely new to the experience, it would be more like 'oh my god, I have to sit for three whole days'; my expectation was that it was mainly going to be tough on the logistical level, as outlined before. I wasn't thinking it would be long enough really to push my body too hard or crack my heart open, especially these days, and I was mostly right about that.
The first day got off to a good start when I found a bar of self-described 'supreme dark' chocolate at my desk at five in the morning. There was no note with it, so I wondered if it was someone who remembered my comment after the last sesshin - which upset one person here after they read about me breaking the shingi - or if it was another kind gift of support.
The second day was bedlam as I expected, what with squeezing another thirty people into the zendo for the one-day sitting part of things, and also having the public coming in and wanting to have a place to sit, on top of all the variables that inevitably occur. During the afternoon, though, I got to slow down nicely, and this continued today as we returned to being a much smaller group. Indeed, there was a certain amount of attrition over the three days, and even among the residents who sat yesterday, not all of them lasted the whole day. Blanche on the other hand, having said at the outset that we shouldn't count on her being there much, pretty much sat through the entire schedule, and anchored the zendo with her presence.
We ended with a shosan, in a very intimate group, where Jordan  got to be at his big-hearted best on the dharma seat, and we got to share some words of the intimacy that has been woven these past few days.

So, I was going to write that we had the Zen Beginner here with us, and since I made a point of telling him 'no blogging' just before I read the admonitions on Thursday, I thought it would be very remiss of me to be breaking that one myself. And, as I click on his page to get the link, I find not only did he go and break it himself, but he was the person who left the chocolate. Did I eat the chocolate? You'll have to ask me...
Changing the subject rapidly, and just to continue the pictoral theme from before:

The moon on Thursday

The moon on Friday