I had been looking forward to that part of the vacation where you pick up your regular responsibilities and routine afterwards, and see how it feels. Unfortunately when I got back into town yesterday, I received some unwanted and upsetting news, which completely took the wind out of my sails. So now I am looking at how to pick up my responsibilities when I feel like I have no motivation or energy and am trying to function on about three hours' sleep. Everyone else, meanwhile, naturally wants to welcome me back and ask how the trip went, and I am not feeling particularly able to meet them.
It was comforting to be back in the zendo this morning; sitting felt good, even if my mind was far from settled, and I felt very emotional doing the first prostrations of service. And I was pleasantly surprised that there were only forty-four emails in my inbox and four messages on the phone; that felt pretty manageable.
At times like these it is helpful to see how other people are doing, and I enjoyed Gretchen's latest blog entry as I deal with my own mental itchiness.