Micro-climates

San Francisco is of course famous for the singularity of its weather. There are long stretches in the summer when it can be grey all day. This week we have been starting grey and getting brighter, with the fog closing in during the evening; today the sun was out from the off. It has been warm to sit in the courtyard at lunch time, but we all know that the fog could be encroaching even to the top of the block on Page Street. Sometimes you can head west and it will start at the entrance to Golden Gate Park; other times you can be almost to the beach and suddenly there it is. Today was one of those days, though I wasn't heading to the beach, just a midweek spin on the bike to clear my head and test my legs. From Twin Peaks I could see the fog rolling over the bridge and hovering over the ocean.
I have had some strong periods of zazen this week, even though some of them have just been spent looking at emotional pain. I have also got to feel how it is when that subsides and internal energies start flowing again. The difficulties I was having stemmed from some incomplete, and what seemed to me to be unskillful, communication, and they were by and large resolved by being able to follow up and have a more open and complete conversation. I had other helpful resources as well - a dokusan with Abbot Steve, as we set the ground for practising together at Tassajara; friends to listen and sympathise; and not for the first time, Young Urban Zen: I went to the meeting feeling at a low ebb, not really wanting to show up, but having shown up, and been met by the group, and by the two people in my small discussion group, and even by the people who came for zazen instruction, I was very aware of how grounded this left me feeling, more at ease than I had been for a couple of days, though that wasn't yet the end of the story.

A 'file photo', from about a month ago, to illustrate how the fog can creep in to the city