I have a “Zen job,” I am the Ino or the head of the meditation hall of the San Francisco Zen Center. My job is to take care that everything is in its place, so that the practice happens in harmony.

My day starts early, at 5:00, just after the wake up bell, I check the zendo (meditation room), the light must be soft, the window open to circulate the air. On the altar, the candle should be lit and with a correct size and the incenser centralized.

People start to arrive and I’m the one who welcome them and tells them where to sit. Three hits on the bell, zazen begins, after half an hour two hits to start the Kinhin (walking meditation). Another 3 hits and another zazen period. The taiko (Japanese drum) marks the time, the Han prepares us for the verse of Okesa. “Great robe of liberation, field far beyond form and emptiness, vearing the Tathagata’s teaching Saving all beings.”

At the end of Zazen we go to the Buddha Hall, I check the lights, if the candles are lid, the mat centralized. I confirm if the officiant (Doshi) and his assistant, (Jisha or jiko) are ready.
The ceremony begins. Every day in the morning we do the repentance, we take refuge in Buddha, Dharma and Shanga, after that the sutras. Eyes and ears alert. How is the sound of the mokugyo (instrument that sets the rhythm), how are the bells sounding? At the end of the ceremony I give feedback to the people who participated.

During the day I take care of what is coming, ceremonies, sesshin (retreats). At the end of the day, I sit zazen again, it is when people come from outside of Zen Center, who comes from the work to practice.

This is my day by day. Taking care of details and having the vision of the whole. Paying attention to each one and overall flow. All this for us to practice together.

What is it to be the the giver of joy to the assembly? That the heart of Sanga becomes my own heart? That the practice of all becomes my own practice?

In the Zendo, almost everyone sits facing the wall, Ino, Abbot, Tanto (practice supervisor) sit facing the center of the room, is part of my zazen to pay attention in what is happening.

But more than that, to pay attention that the practice happens smoothly and to encourage people to practice. Knowing that I have presence like a host, caring with love for my guests. Zen love is a subtle care, it is to take care of the silence.

What Is Left Behind

It seems a long time ago now that Dana, then the Secretary, asked me if I would take on the blog as part of my responsibilities as ino. She is gone now, back to the market-place; there is a new Abbess, a new tanto, and everyone else on the senior staff that I started with has rotated to a different job in this period of time. That is the way of things at Zen Center.

This morning I put on my robes and went down to the zendo for the first time this week. Even though the schedule was optional for residents this morning, we had a good turn-out for the Full Moon Ceremony in the Buddha Hall after zazen. I had asked Martha several times before to be kokyo, and it had never worked out, so I was glad that she made her debut this time, for the blue moon; her voice sang out across the room strongly and vividly.
I sat one last time in the ino's seat for the 9:25 period - I was going to say, enjoying sitting with all the Saturday regulars, but actually there were a number of new faces today; perhaps some of these are going to be the new regulars. 
Rosalie had told me she was going to get up at the end of lecture to say something about it being my last day, and she did - apparently it went out on the Livestream as well if you want to hear what she said. I have noticed before that she always has a good knack of finding the right things to say about people, pinpointing particular qualities that stand out and bringing them to light. My karma is such that I found it more embarrassing to be standing there on the receiving end of these glowing words than just to be there making anouncements, but I felt warmly held and appreciated by everyone in the room; there was also applause, which is most unusual in those surroundings.
As happens most Saturdays, a nice group from YUZ got to hang out in the courtyard afterwards, partly organising what we are going to do on Monday, and, since I was getting into a vacation frame of mind and had the intention of not planning anything for today, I lingered with everybody after lunch much longer than is my wont, and had a sweet time with people.

There is a ceremony in one of the folders on the computer for the ino transition, which we have sometimes used; mostly it is a jundo and an invitation for the new ino to take the seat. The timing being what it is, I don't think we are going to do it this time. I will however make a transition right here after I have posted this: I will transfer the administrative control for the blog away from my log-in, and leave it in Valorie's hands.

I would like to say that I have deeply valued being offered this space to express and share the dharma and my practice with everybody, and I have been constantly encouraged and touched by all the positive feedback I have received over the last two and a half years, be it from my closest dharma friends here in the building or those of you with whom I am only acquainted through the blog. It has been a particular and wonderful sangha to have been a part of.

At times, and not just now at the end of my tenure, I have looked around and thought that the most tangible result of my time as ino will be that I got the bowing mat in the Buddha Hall replaced. It took more than a year to actually make it happen, but then I think it had been in need of doing for at least ten years. There are a few other material things that I can look around and think, I was at least partially the cause of this coming into being. For the non-tangible effects...

The truth is that I have been trying to compose this post for a couple of weeks - which would explain why it reads a little disjointed - and I know that it is impossible to be able to find fitting words to say at this moment. However, having read in Living by Vow an extract from Shobogenzo Gyoji, I think it is only appropriate to close with some words from Dogen:
"The essential point is that, in the entire earth and throughout heaven in the ten directions, all beings receive the merit of our continuous practice. Although neither others nor ourselves know it, that is the way it is."

Retreat

It was kindly suggested to me that I suspend the blog while the retreat is on, as part of moving towards silence, and I have no problem saying yes to that suggestion. Normal service will be resumed after August 4th. Until then, please read some Dogen.

Clarifications

I am very grateful for all the messages of congratulation and support that I have received not just here, but also in person and by email, around the announcement that I will be the next shuso at Tassajara, but I feel the need to clear a few things up.
A shuso's term is for one practice period, and it is my firm intention, as the old saying goes, to be back by Christmas, and to resume living at City Center. During those three months, however, I am not going to be leaving the valley - unless there is an emergency - and I will not be blogging.
When I last lived at Tassajara, I had the strong opinion that practice periods and the internet were entirely antithetical; while I was prevailed upon to write a short piece for the Zen Center website once, I think it was mostly about the weather - I could not reconcile the enveloping intensity of being in the monastic schedule with the many-faceted and transient nature of being online. The focus of our time and attention in the valley is of necessity internal, not just in ourselves, but also within the group of monks, and little of that can be communicated outside in any meaningful way.
Beyond that, we are asked not to bring electronic devices,  and I am determined not to take my lap-top with me, assuming I have enough memory cards to store all the photographs I imagine I will be taking. Even if I did, these days it seems to be hard enough even to get a clear phone line out of Tassajara, as it used to be in the old days, and other means of communication are extremely limited. Just as they should be if we are to work hard inside the monastery walls.

Back To The Archives 15

Rounding off this dredging operation, an entry about generosity and the paramitas, the theme of the current pratice period. On the Saturday before I left, Nadia set me up nicely for this part of my announcements: she caught my attention and told the assembly that she had found a wallet in the hallway. I continued, while you are all checking that you have yours....
A double helping of photos today, since I had uploaded a whole bunch for this extended exercise. The first is a continuation from yesterday, a little open stretch of the Marble Cone trail that runs along Willow Creek, about a mile or so east of Starlight Meadow. The second, a different view in several ways, is from Hawk Mountain, loking east over to Junipero Serra peak, the hghest point in the picture, and indeed in the whole area. If you can make out the Indian Stations road cutting across the hillside in front of that peak, the first photo was taken some way below that, between that hill and the one in front of it. As you can tell, I liked to get about when I was there.

Back To The Archives 14

Reminiscences from Tassajara today from the archive, accompanied by another photo that makes me feel peaceful just to look at it. The stand of trees in the foreground is called Starlight meadow, and can be found right where the lower Horse Pasture trail meets Willow Creek. To take this picture, I had crossed Willow Creek, presumably on the way to the Horsebridge and Arroyo Seco, and was looking all the way back up the Horse Pasture trail.

Back To The Archives 13

A more light-hearted post for today as we enter the final stretch of vacation auto-posting. All being well, this should appear on Memorial Day, and I should be in Paris...
This picture has very relaxing connotations for me, as it is down the creek right before the second Narrows, where I used to regularly hike on my days off in the summer to get some quiet sunning and swimming in.
 

Back To The Archives 12

I was interested to read this post again, more than a year after it was written.
More on the creek theme for the photograph, albeit much more colourful than the last. I called this picture May Greens, as the new leaves were so sumptuous, though I can imagine the creek was not so warm to be hiking in, as I undoubtedly was to get this picture some way down below the Narrows.

Back To The Archives 11

Just in case any of you are missing Study Hall, here is an entry from 2010.
Another trail running photo, and if you are sharp-eyed, you will notice Brian ahead of me in the undergrowth. This may have even been the same run, since this is the upper part of Willow Creek, near the Horse Camp, where the trail sticks close to the water, and we are about to come to the far end of the Tony Trail for the long climb back home.

Back To The Archives 10

Rewinding the clock twelve months or so, here is another aspect of the ino's life.
Pictorially, we are still in the Tassajara Trails folder, but on slightly firmer ground than yesterday - as you can see from the picture, I do mean slightly firmer. When I was just back at Tassajara, I kept hearing what a great state the Tony Trail was in, all the way up and most of the way down the other side. It was transformed greatly by the fire, and I didn't get to see how the regrowth was this year, but the trail itself was always fairly narrow and precarious. Brian and I ran it fairly regularly, and this was one of the sections that required more mindfulness, and just plain trust that you would not lose your footing on the leaves and loose silt.

Back To The Archives 9

Getting people to stay in the zendo for kinhin is a constant struggle for the ino and the tanto; we have been discussing it again recently, and I brought it up at the residents' meeting before I left. Here are my related thoughts from a couple of years ago.
Today's photo combines the themes of the previous few - wildlife and the creek at Tassajara. I was always happy to find a newt, either in or out of the water. This one was particularly happy to be doing whatever it is that newts do. It's not exactly a YouTube kitten video, but still very cute.

Back To The Archives 8

Today's read is from about eighteen months ago, but I find I still refer to some of the ideas I brought up there. The photo is of the Tassajara creek, way downstream from the Narrows, almost at the point where it flows into Willow Creek. There are some spectacular spots along the way. On this occasion I think I was hiking back from Arroyo Seco and the Horsebridge, and the creek was the nicest, if not the quickest, way to get back.

Back To The Archives 7

Heading back just about a year, to something written during my last vacation, for today's archival offering.
More Tassajara wildlife, though of the less threatening variety. This is a checkerspot butterfly, one of the many kinds to be seen in the mountains, and not the most common; this one was out on the Tony Trail.

Back To The Archives 6

The vacation auto-posting continues with a little navel-gazing from the archive.
I am continuing with the Tassajara photos theme, though this one is a little different. I came across a number of rattlesnakes in my time there, mostly on the trails, but a couple of times I was called on to remove some from close to the bathhouse - with a long-handled tong-like device. I had a closer encounter than this one in my first summer, but on this occasion I happened to be running out on the Horse Pasture with my camera. I had jumped over a snake more than once on that part of the trail, which zig-zags down from the Flag Rock ridge to the Horse Pasture itself; this snake was next to the trail and I heard it rattle after I had gone by, so I stopped at a safe distance to record its disgruntledness at having been disturbed; I have some video footage too as it made its way across the trail to the other side to disappear into the undergrowth.

Back To The Archives 5

Another post from my first months as ino, wherein I am looking back even further.
From the Tassajara Road photo archive, we get a little closer to Tassajara. This is just up the road from the spring and the reservoirs, and obviously autumnal. It may not be New England, but Tassajara can be pretty spectacular when the leaves start to turn.

Back To The Archives 4

Today's archival post seems a little cute now that I have actually been through the whole process, but it still gives me a chuckle to read it again
This photo was taken in almost the same place as yesterday's, but at the end of a summer's day.

Back To The Archives 3

Today's slightly-less-than-random pick from the archives is one that has been looked at a number of times, but will probably stil be helpful to some - the glossary.

The photo is one from the Tassajara Road folder. This is the amazing view from the nameless ridge from which the descent into Tassajara starts. This picture was taken after a town trip during practice period; I came back in as the sun was going down, and the sky was richly coloured by a fire that had been burning in Morgan Hill, some eighty miles to the north.

Back To The Archives 2

When I did this before sesshin, it was easy enough to dip into the archives and pull up a post that seemed interesting. This time around I was a little more systematic, and read through a lot of old posts that I had rather forgotten about. That is not the case with this one, but I hadn't looked at it for a while, and I got to enjoy it all over again.

Of photos, however, there is no shortage, and they are all going to be Tassajara-related. Indeed this one ties in with the post - the bare patch of hillside to the lower left, and the fold of land to the right of that are the same as pictured in the fourth pair of photographs. This viewpoint - pre-fire of course - comes from the top of Hawk Mountain, from where you get dizzying views in all directions. I always liked how much of the Horse Pasture trail you could make out from there.

Back To The Archives

I thought I would repeat the exercise from sesshin, as nobody came and complained about it last time. So, a trip into the archives and a photograph each day. And if, as happened when I was in Tassajara a couple of weeks ago, the auto-scheduling fails to kick in, at least this time I will probably notice before I get back to San Francisco after Memorial Day, and get to rectify the situation.
Today, the very first Study Hall post, which, according to the page stats, has only been viewed three times before.
For the pictures, I have been plundering the Tassajara parts of my archive folders. This picture is called 'postcard view', as it is one of my attempts to duplicate Dan Howe's famous picture from the seventies, which is sold in the Stone Office as a postcard. It took me more than a year just to figure out where he had taken it from, and a little longer to actually get there myself - I won't say where it is exactly, but somehwere in the vicinity of Flag Rock, and I certainly wouldn't recommend the off-trail section of the hike to anyone. Having said that, my first foray to the spot did not produce a picture that satisfied me, so, during my next stint at Tassajara, armed with a digital camera this time, I undertook the same expedition, and came back with this shot. Still not as rich as the original.

Technology

I can only apologise belatedly for the failure of the posts I had set up to publish themselves on schedule during the week. I am not quite sure which step I neglected to take to make it happen; I will probably recycle most of them for my next trip.
So I am back in the city after a week where my only brush with technology was using my digital camera. I had a wonderful and somewhat relaxing time, and I think the six people from YUZ enjoyed themselves too, after a little adjustment in some cases. We had great adventures getting in - on a day when it was 97 degrees along 101 south of San Jose - and getting out, when it was 40 degrees on the north side of the road and rather wetter.
Work period is a special time at Tassajara, and I was happy to see a number of familiar faces from Aprils and Septembers past; there was a lot going on, and great energy about the place, and yesterday a real end-of-term feel, as people packed up, said goodbyes, and prepared to make way for the alumni weekend that is starting - there was an influx of other familiar faces as we set off after lunch.
Happily, I got to work with rocks, though not where I had originally thought I would. It made quite a change from being at my desk all day, and I felt physically very tired at the end of each day, which is no bad thing at all. All the group got to feel the effects of being in the mountains with few distractions and responsibilities, just focussing on the tasks in hand, and enjoying the company and the place itself.
Spring at Tassajara felt very green this year, as recent rains brought forth a profusion of flowers and leaves. I was glad that some of this comes across in the photos - this is a selection from five hundred or so that I managed to take. Okay, so maybe 22 pictures is my way of over-compensating for the lack of action this week...

An attempt at a group shot at the solar panels, which does include all of us, even if it is not a great picture

The six from Young Urban Zen descending from the solar panels

Dillon and Mike cleaning in Stone 3

Conversations in the courtyard - a cherished feature of work period

The work circle disbands

Green by the zendo

I was staying in Cabin 4, which was very sweet; this is the view across the bridge to the dorm

The dining room with added sunburst

The wisteria, which was fully blooming, frames Flag Rock

There were irises everywhere - this one by the bocce court

This one was in the lower garden

These were by the bridge

Many more columbines than there used to be - this one is below the zendo

Residents cups yesterday as the coffee-tea area was being deep cleaned

The new Torii gate, just installed on the way to the memorial site. Everyone agrees that will be much photographed.

With a few clouds in the sky, the light was a little softer midweek - this is the vew over Tassajara from the solar panels

The view in the other direction, with the retreat center in the bottom corner

This was where I spent my working week; we just had time on our last day of work to make everything look untouched.

Always looking for new angles on familiar subjects. The greens got pruned back the next day

I've done this shot before, but the red was very vivid yesterday

The new bridge was back at the end of the Flats, which people were very happy about

Again, looking for interesting angles, and helped by the light at the time