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| The view from my previous room one afternoon |
Sunday, March 25, 2012
A Dip In The Archives - Day 1
I had been thinking of linking to some old posts; not that these are greatest hits or anything, but rather that I sometimes look through the lists and can't remember myself what I was writing about, and I find it hard to believe that anyone else has actually read this whole archive. So the idea is that I am pre-loading a week's worth of posts, one link back to an old post, which today is this one, and a photo from my picture archive which I don't think has made it into the public domain yet and which caught my eye on a brief trawl through the files. Enjoy.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Into Great Silence
This sesshin is going to be a little different from usual, in that we are following a modified schedule that Victoria and Darlene tried over ten years ago - and that was one of my earliest sesshins here in the building. We looked at the participant list the other day, and saw names of current and former residents, those who had joined us just for that week, those passing through and several, including Darlene and Marvin, who have since died.
I am feeling the strain of working a full six-day week, and then going straight into seven days of sitting, with an extra edge due to the unfamiliarity of what we are going to do - but I have the sense that once we settle in after the first day or two, it is going to feel very nice, at least until I have to immerse myself in preparations for the shuso ceremony.
An idea also occured to me around the blog, combining something I had already been considering, with the upcoming week of silence. Watch this space.
I am feeling the strain of working a full six-day week, and then going straight into seven days of sitting, with an extra edge due to the unfamiliarity of what we are going to do - but I have the sense that once we settle in after the first day or two, it is going to feel very nice, at least until I have to immerse myself in preparations for the shuso ceremony.
An idea also occured to me around the blog, combining something I had already been considering, with the upcoming week of silence. Watch this space.
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| Things are blossoming in the courtyard right now |
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| It was sunny yesterday, but rainy this morning. Good sitting weather |
Friday, March 23, 2012
Body And Mind Of Themselves
It is often said that the reason we get up so early in the morning is to
have the opportunity to be awake - more or less - before the habitual
conscious mind can get a firm hold on us. Moving through familiar routines without much mental activity involved, there is the chance for body and mind to experience spaciousness during zazen.
I am often sleepy during afternoon zazen, more specifically during the first half of the period; around the time I hear the six o'clock chimes from up the road, I start feeling more alert. This seems to be the tired body's natural response to stopping after a day of activity, but I have found it a useful place to be - the other day, somewhere close to the tipping point between waking and sleep, I had the sense that I should tilt slightly to the right from the mid-point of the thorassic curve in my spine. Having adjusted my posture, I felt the release of balance and settledness, but since it wasn't dictated by the conscious mind, I have found it difficult to repeat the movement since then, however much I would like to.
Reading Katagiri Roshi this morning, I came to the sentence, "Dogen constantly emphasizes that practice is shikan. Shikan is just wholeheartedness; it is experience, so practice is experience." At that moment, without really thinking about it, I understood this as the energy to go forward and meet things. I also know that recently I have been practising with letting go of some of the forward drive in my everyday attitudes, which I have been doing by noticing a certain bodily tension and allowing the muscles in my ribs to relax. In both cases, it seems that it is allowing the body to function more naturally without so much interference from the mind, like those twilight moments when the brain is not fully in gear.
I am often sleepy during afternoon zazen, more specifically during the first half of the period; around the time I hear the six o'clock chimes from up the road, I start feeling more alert. This seems to be the tired body's natural response to stopping after a day of activity, but I have found it a useful place to be - the other day, somewhere close to the tipping point between waking and sleep, I had the sense that I should tilt slightly to the right from the mid-point of the thorassic curve in my spine. Having adjusted my posture, I felt the release of balance and settledness, but since it wasn't dictated by the conscious mind, I have found it difficult to repeat the movement since then, however much I would like to.
Reading Katagiri Roshi this morning, I came to the sentence, "Dogen constantly emphasizes that practice is shikan. Shikan is just wholeheartedness; it is experience, so practice is experience." At that moment, without really thinking about it, I understood this as the energy to go forward and meet things. I also know that recently I have been practising with letting go of some of the forward drive in my everyday attitudes, which I have been doing by noticing a certain bodily tension and allowing the muscles in my ribs to relax. In both cases, it seems that it is allowing the body to function more naturally without so much interference from the mind, like those twilight moments when the brain is not fully in gear.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Study Hall
"Whoever you are, the whole world gives you energy to be free from what you think your capabilities are, from the form of a lifestyle, from the form of Zen or any teaching, whatever it is. Time is constantly giving you energy to emancipate yourself from any form or idea, even though you want to hold on to it. How can we accept time like this? Try to realize that you have already set yourself out in the vastness of the Buddha's world because you exist as a human being. So all you can do now is make every possible effort to live in Buddha's world with a way-seeking mind.
Usually we don't want to do this. If we step outside the familiar patterns of our lives we are scared. But we have to do it sometimes, so we should do it positively. This is very important for us. If we do it positively, we realize how great our capability is. That doesn't mean to become strong by expressing our ego. Expressing our ego seems to make us strong, but it is the complete opposite. In Zen monasteries the ego is always being hit on the head, like pouring water over a burning fire. Immediately pffft! Nothing is left, but this is the way to become strong.
Human beings have big, egoistic, balloon heads, so Dogen Zenji is always puncturing them, one by one, making a little hole and letting the air come out. Finally a balloon pops and you say, "Ah, I understand." But by that time maybe it's too late; maybe you understand right before you have one foot in the grave. That's why Dogen teaches us how to accept time as being and how our life can be illuminated right now" - Each Moment is the Universe - Katagiri Roshi.
Usually we don't want to do this. If we step outside the familiar patterns of our lives we are scared. But we have to do it sometimes, so we should do it positively. This is very important for us. If we do it positively, we realize how great our capability is. That doesn't mean to become strong by expressing our ego. Expressing our ego seems to make us strong, but it is the complete opposite. In Zen monasteries the ego is always being hit on the head, like pouring water over a burning fire. Immediately pffft! Nothing is left, but this is the way to become strong.
Human beings have big, egoistic, balloon heads, so Dogen Zenji is always puncturing them, one by one, making a little hole and letting the air come out. Finally a balloon pops and you say, "Ah, I understand." But by that time maybe it's too late; maybe you understand right before you have one foot in the grave. That's why Dogen teaches us how to accept time as being and how our life can be illuminated right now" - Each Moment is the Universe - Katagiri Roshi.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Weather Systems
We had a fair amount of rain last week; much needed it was too, and I enjoyed its presence, even though I got soaked several times out on my bike. Luckily it had blown through by Sunday morning. Unusually I hadn't fixed my bike itinerary in advance; setting out with various options in mind, and encountering a fierce cold headwind from the north, I changed my plans to minimise the suffering: instead of grovelling up Highway 1, which is very exposed, I came up inland, and thoroughly enjoyed riding with a strong tailwind as I started back south alongside the Bolinas lagoon. Today it turned warmer and sunnier, so I felt relaxed for my midweek hour around town, although when I got up to one of the high points of the city, I could see fog along the ocean and under the bridge. And that is probably the last time I shall be out on a bike for ten days.
We are heading towards sesshin, and I have a big all-day meeting tomorrow on an unrelated topic. I have previously noted how this kind of conjunction tends to cause me stress, so I am paying attention to that, and hoping to stay spacious with it.
There haven't been many personal words on the blog in the past week, and there are a few reasons for this. Time has been a little tight, and I have also been involved in a number of what we call 'difficult conversations'. These kinds of situations tend to bring into sharp focus our intention to practise mindfulness and compassion, towards ourselves and others, and for now I will just say that they have taken up a certain amount of time and energy this past week, but that there have been opportunities to communicate constructively on the different topics, which has allowed the energies to shift, and that has felt good.
I feel like there hasn't been a sky picture for some time, and while I didn't manage to get up on the roof this morning, where there were wonderful bright mottled clouds, I did catch this on Sunday:
We are heading towards sesshin, and I have a big all-day meeting tomorrow on an unrelated topic. I have previously noted how this kind of conjunction tends to cause me stress, so I am paying attention to that, and hoping to stay spacious with it.
There haven't been many personal words on the blog in the past week, and there are a few reasons for this. Time has been a little tight, and I have also been involved in a number of what we call 'difficult conversations'. These kinds of situations tend to bring into sharp focus our intention to practise mindfulness and compassion, towards ourselves and others, and for now I will just say that they have taken up a certain amount of time and energy this past week, but that there have been opportunities to communicate constructively on the different topics, which has allowed the energies to shift, and that has felt good.
I feel like there hasn't been a sky picture for some time, and while I didn't manage to get up on the roof this morning, where there were wonderful bright mottled clouds, I did catch this on Sunday:
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Study Hall
"If you set yourself out in Buddha's world and practice zazen, the way-seeking mind, the bodhi-mind, appears. This is mind arousing time as zazen. In the next moment you hate zazen and want to go back to sleep, so the way-seeking mind disappears. Where does it go? It disappears in timelessness. Later you want to do zazen again. That is time arousing mind as religious aspiration. So you sit down and come back to practicing zazen. Then the way-seeking mind comes up again. All you have to do is continue arousing the way-seeking mind. If you practice like this, this is arousing time as zazen. So do zazen as whole-hearted practice and become completely one with time as zazen. Then time takes care of your life.
The way-seeking mind is not something you try to get. You just set yourself out in Buddha's world and do zazen whole-heartedly. When the time is ripe and conditions are arranged, the way-seeking mind comes up in your life, blooms, and is the rhythm of the whole world. Then time is called zazen and zazen is the whole world of time.
The whole world comes together into your zazen, but it doesn't bother your zazen. The sound of a car doesn't bother you, the sound becomes one with zazen. People sitting next to you don't bother you. Zazen doesn't bother you, and your zazen doesn't bother others. You just sit, blooming your life. This is called satori, enlightenment" - Each Moment is the Universe, Katagiri Roshi. It only gets denser.
The way-seeking mind is not something you try to get. You just set yourself out in Buddha's world and do zazen whole-heartedly. When the time is ripe and conditions are arranged, the way-seeking mind comes up in your life, blooms, and is the rhythm of the whole world. Then time is called zazen and zazen is the whole world of time.
The whole world comes together into your zazen, but it doesn't bother your zazen. The sound of a car doesn't bother you, the sound becomes one with zazen. People sitting next to you don't bother you. Zazen doesn't bother you, and your zazen doesn't bother others. You just sit, blooming your life. This is called satori, enlightenment" - Each Moment is the Universe, Katagiri Roshi. It only gets denser.
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Ino's Life
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Friday, March 16, 2012
Study Hall
"We cannot see real time unless it is manifested as twelve hours of everyday life because real time is formless. It is formless because it is constantly moving. Real time is always with us, but we cannot know it objectively. In our daily lives we constantly touch real time, but we don't pay attention to it. Instead of paying attention we suffer and grumble. We cannot see ourselves straightforwardly because we are always judging and evaluating, feeling good or bad. This keeps us busy. Sometimes it gives us a headache.
If we do touch the zero of time, we cannot stand up there. We try to escape, crying and screaming; sometimes we go skiing or watch TV. We keep busy, constantly working, because we don't really understand how time functions. But the busier we are, the more we want to push ourselves, doing more and more, until finally, we don't know how to take a breath. We become crazy, exhausted, or sick.
How can you take care of time before you go crazy? Try to realize that real time is nothing but dynamic function, so time itself possesses the great power to emancipate you from the limitations of your idea of time.
Our modern daily life is pretty busy, but can you always be busy? No, you cannot stay with twelve hours or you would go crazy. So busyness has the great power to emancipate itself. That's why you want to find a way to be free from busyness and just be present quietly. This is quietness, tranquility. When you are calm, tranquil, and still, twelve hours of time returns to no-time or timelessness. Can you stay with quietness? No, quietness has the great power to act. You cannot stay with timelessness or you would die, so timelessness must become twelve hours again. At the pivot of nothingness, timelessness manifests as your daily life. This is busyness, dynamism. Busyness and quietness are always working together in your life. This is reality" - Each Moment is the Universe, Katagiri Roshi.
If we do touch the zero of time, we cannot stand up there. We try to escape, crying and screaming; sometimes we go skiing or watch TV. We keep busy, constantly working, because we don't really understand how time functions. But the busier we are, the more we want to push ourselves, doing more and more, until finally, we don't know how to take a breath. We become crazy, exhausted, or sick.
How can you take care of time before you go crazy? Try to realize that real time is nothing but dynamic function, so time itself possesses the great power to emancipate you from the limitations of your idea of time.
Our modern daily life is pretty busy, but can you always be busy? No, you cannot stay with twelve hours or you would go crazy. So busyness has the great power to emancipate itself. That's why you want to find a way to be free from busyness and just be present quietly. This is quietness, tranquility. When you are calm, tranquil, and still, twelve hours of time returns to no-time or timelessness. Can you stay with quietness? No, quietness has the great power to act. You cannot stay with timelessness or you would die, so timelessness must become twelve hours again. At the pivot of nothingness, timelessness manifests as your daily life. This is busyness, dynamism. Busyness and quietness are always working together in your life. This is reality" - Each Moment is the Universe, Katagiri Roshi.
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