Full Moon

There was a big moon shining into my room this morning when I got up.We had put the  Full Moon Ceremony back a day so that we could have our Way-seeking Mind talk yesterday - as the practice period is only six weeks long, we wanted to give as many people as possible a chance to tell their story.
I had rehearsed the ceremony several times with Renee the kokyo and Jay the doan, as it was a debut for both of them; I was confident they would do well, and they did. As usual I worried about the details, but by the time we got to the Bodhisattva vows, I was feeling very concentrated. In my position in the Buddha Hall, I do my prostrations right in front of the Tara statue, and I enjoyed having her beatific gaze upon me during this ceremony. And then when we were reciting the precepts, the sun rose above the house across the street and was shining directly onto me; I could see I was surrounded by clouds of incense, and it was a very moving moment as we did our final bows. I went up to the kaisando afterwards to do the breakfast food offering for Suzuki Roshi as well, which I don't often get a chance to do, so it was a powerful morning for me, and I could feel the positive energy of the sangha at breakfast.
My concentration has not been so great this past week or more; the times that it has been better are when I have been doshi for noon or evening service, or the couple of times I have stood in as doan, and I just get to concentrate on hitting the bells, which I love to do. As doshi, there is always a great opportunity to be present, as you are standing right in the middle of all the chanting and energy of the room. We have started chanting Dogen's Self-receiving and -employing Samadhi for noon service, and this is a very inspiring text. It is very dense, which makes it hard to take in while you are chanting, but I find if I just allow it to permeate, and don't think about it too much, it can send a shiver down my spine. It affirms for me why this practice is my life.