I have had some strong periods of zazen this week, even though some of them have just been spent looking at emotional pain. I have also got to feel how it is when that subsides and internal energies start flowing again. The difficulties I was having stemmed from some incomplete, and what seemed to me to be unskillful, communication, and they were by and large resolved by being able to follow up and have a more open and complete conversation. I had other helpful resources as well - a dokusan with Abbot Steve, as we set the ground for practising together at Tassajara; friends to listen and sympathise; and not for the first time, Young Urban Zen: I went to the meeting feeling at a low ebb, not really wanting to show up, but having shown up, and been met by the group, and by the two people in my small discussion group, and even by the people who came for zazen instruction, I was very aware of how grounded this left me feeling, more at ease than I had been for a couple of days, though that wasn't yet the end of the story.
|A 'file photo', from about a month ago, to illustrate how the fog can creep in to the city|